Whoa!!!

Ok!! This is how it happened.. Superman and Crash had gone 'a-huntin' and left me and Monkey boy at home.. So, Friday night Monkey boy gets to have a visit with the Nonie and Papa and I get to go to the movies with 2 of my FAVORITE peeps and 1 new peep (who really doesn't know what to think of me just yet..). We went to see New Moon, the 2nd installment of the Twilight series and it was so good!! Me and Fave peep 'V' started with popcorn, nachos, and chocolate .. Nachos were gone before the commercials had even started and we'd taken our first potty break, so we were all good!! We talked 'new peep' into taking a picture of us before the movie started so we could have a reminder of our night out.(it was my birthday). As we looked at the picture on my 'berry, we noticed the "creeper" sitting behind us picking his nose and looking all creepy.. ick!!! Now, New Moon has started and as we are getting into the movie, "creeper" began having trouble opening his box of goodies and I swear it took his 5 minutes to figure it out!! I thought Fave peep 'L' was going to take it away from him and open it for him!! I had such a fun time!! I don't get out much, usually.. Got home that night with Monkey boy in tow and we settled in for the night..slept good until Monkey boys has a bad dream and seeks shelter in my big bed.. was soooo looking forward to sleeping in the middle of the bed..hmmm.. oh well, who needs sleep anyway.. Saturday~ Had a jewelry party for a friend who is just starting out and my turnout was minimal and pitiful but we had a good time.. After the party, we (me,monkey boy and Fave peep "S" headed to do a bit of shopping in a town about 30 minutes away and as we were on our journey-a deer decided to end his life under my truck!! EEEK!! I know!! I really wish he could have picked another venue, but life is going to happen regardless of if you are ready or not.. Now please pay attention to this next bit, it can get confusing fast!! I will have to use names, but they are not the actual names of the people involved.. nevermind, if I try to change the names, I will end up confusing myself.. So, pull up your panties and lets get this horse runnin' I hit the deer, and Steph says,"We need to turn around and go back and we need to call somebody.." I said "Who?" (because my somebody is gone a-huntin) Steph's brother happens to be a DPS officer so she calls him and I call the Nonie and Papa to come and tell me what to do..(Why is it that I have to pee at this very moment???) DPS Clyde calls in and has DPS Paul come to our service..I call Superman and tell him about my delimma and he calls Justin.. Justin calls me after he called Jerry and Burl.. Justin works with Superman and Super knew Justin could help, (he was not hunting and at home) Jerry has a wrecker service in our town and Burl has the BEST bodyshop in the area.. So, now.. Justin calls me, after he called Jerry and Burl, to let me know he has called them and all I have to do is wait for Jerry to show up and tow away my truck..(I still have to pee) in the mean time the Nonie and Papa have showed up and are looking at the damage to my truck and the deer.. I've already looked at the front of my truck and liquid is spewing out of the grill area..(Makes me have to go even more!) When Monkey boy sees the Papa walking to the deer, he starts saying,"I want to see the blood!!" So the Papa and Monkey boy go take a gander at the deer and Monkey boy comes back all disappointed because there was no blood... Lip pooched out and all... About this time DPS Paul rolls up and asked Steph if she was the sister because apparently there was another deer hitting on the other end of this road.. and he wanted to be sure he was at the right one..hmmm.. He looks at the damage on both the truck and deer and tells me I should have tried a gun first..HA...HA. (Please don't make me laugh.. I have to pee!!) He also told me that I hit the deer so hard that the impact knocked the antlers completely off!!! (This guy thinks he is a comedian) What he didn't know was that the Papa had removed only 1 side of the antlers.. I only knocked off 1 side..guess the joke was on him!! We make small talk forEVER (I still need to go..and I began to wonder if it was against the law to cop a squat behind the DPS cruiser) After we have cleaned out the truck, I tend to think I live in my truck so it was no small task to clean it out..FINALLY Jerry's Wrecker shows up and hauls my poor Tahoe onto the back of his truck.. Monkey Boy is completely enamored with this biggo' truck!!! DPS Paul tells us we are free to leave and to be safe!! So we pile into the Papa's Ram and head to the house.. (still have to pee!!) He abides by DPS Paul's instruction on being safe and proceeds to drive UNDER the speed limit and takes the LONGEST way to my house!!! I'm pretty sure by this time my eyeball are floating, I have to go soooo bad!!! On our way home, Monkey Boy leans over to me and asks why are we in the Papa's truck and where is our truck and who was the cop and where did the big truck take our truck on it's back??? AND with lip pooched out yet again, he says," I miss our truck!" it has literally been 15 minutes!!! So I try to tell him the condensed version of our night.. I take a HUGE deep breath and this is what I told him: We hit the deer. Steph called Clyde and I called the Nonie and Papa and then I called Superman who then called Justin who called Jerry and Burl. Steph called Clyde who then called Paul. Then Justin called me and Clyde called Steph and the Nonie called me and I called Superman. Then Justin called me again and Steph called Wes.. Then I called Superman back and Steph told Wes not to come because Justin had called Jerry and Clyde had called Paul...Paul called Jerry to see when he was coming and then Superman called to tell me that Justin was going to call Jerry and Burl and Clyde called Steph to see if Paul showed up.. Steph had the good sense (and maybe a hunger pang or two) to call Wes and Wes called Pizza Hut and we finally got home so I could pee and then Wes showed up with pizza and we ate and life was good!! Are you confused yet???