Granny say WHAT????

I know it's been a while since I've posted..My bad..Let me catch you up to date on my life..get comfy/cozy cause it's gonna be a ride..

Granny still has Alzheimer's..and I'm not saying she's getting worse..and she forgets a few names and places..but...She has stopped calling needing dog food, now she calls and wants to talk to Superman about her cows..and says he needs to sell the calves..even though she doesn't have any ready to sell just yet...

  She called the other day a tad miffed- I wasn't sure if it was at me or at Uncle.. I said,"Hello?" and heard,"I know that you know why I'm still here and I want to know what he (Uncle) told you!" my reply was," I know what you know.." and she said,"Oh.. OK..Well, I need to go home, I have better things to do than sit here all day.." I said, "I know.." Then she said,"I need to talk to Superman.  I need to talk to him about the cows, he may need to sell more than just the calves, he may need to sell a couple of cows this time.." I said, "Really?" Her reply was," Yes, I have a plan, and I'm gonna need money..I can't tell you what it is yet, but I will soon..when it's time.." and ended with,"I'm gonna drop the Boom on him (Uncle) and MAKE him take me home..." EEK!  With that comment, she hung up, and left me wondering..

  The next day she calls again, and tells me to please try to call Uncle..she has been trying for a week, and can't get him..she needs to talk to him..so I told her that I'd try to call him and let him know that she needed him. She said thanks and hung up..not mentioning 'the dropping of the Boom'..I think OK, she's forgot..good.. Then, a few days later I find a message on the answering machine..it's her and she is almost whispering..she says Uncle is coming tomorrow to take her home, and she knows we have taken her guns, and she is going to need at least a pistol to defend herself..(from whom or what, she doesn't say) but we are to go to her house tonight and bring the pistol and place it under the pair of jeans that are laying at the foot of the bed in the back bedroom and she will find it tomorrow...
 I relayed the message to Superman and we agreed whole hearted to NOT.  No how, no way..

The next night she calls and says she need to talk to Superman about selling cows, so I had him the phone...(He He!) she asked him if he had sold the calves and he replied with a "No, It's not time" and she says OK and hangs up..

 So, at the same time the next night the phone rings..it's her wanting to talk to Superman about selling cows...once again, his reply is," No, it's not time.." she gets a little snippy with him and he says gently, I told you last night that it wasn't time..and apparently she doesn't have her hearing aid in and asked him to repeat it louder, so I hear him yelling to her, and my feathers get ruffled because she is my granny and is old and he should show respect..until I realize what happened..and his reply to me is, "It's OK, she won't remember it in the morning.." LOL! (a little Alzheimer's humor..)

 Now weeks go by without a phone call from her..and I'm getting a little concerned until she calls..and says, "I need to talk to Superman about selling cows.." He reminds her that it's not time..Ahhhh! All is right in my world. Okay, so she calls right back and ask to speak with him again, uh-oh..what's up with this??  I hear him tell her, that he will talk to Uncle and then tells her that we will all be going to her house for Thanksgiving..which is true, but she is confused because how can we all go there when she is in the "Home"?? He tells her that Uncle will go get her for the day and we will all cook and bring food and she will spend the day with us in her home..That pacifies her and she hangs up.

  No calls for a few weeks again, then she calls and needs to talk to Superman and he reluctantly takes the phone and says Hello...She tells him that she knows that she won't be going home to stay and she knows that she can't take care of herself and she knows that she needs to stay at the Home, and she knows that eventually he will get her cows, but before they are his, she needs to sell the calves...

Bahahahahaha!! 
No Joke!!
He then tells her yet again, that it's not time..and she says OK and hangs up..

Then my mother calls me the next day with this tidbit...She said that Granny called HER!!! I said WHAT??? Where did she find your number?? She doesn't know how but she said that Granny called her and thought she was me.. Mom identified herself and Granny asked, "Did I call you??" Mom replied,"Yes.." Granny then tells her she is trying to get me to tell me to tell Uncle that he needs to get her out of that Place..she then tells mom she is trapped and needs to get out.." Mom is respectful and says she understands and will pass along the message to me..

 Now, it's two days before Thanksgiving and Granny calls and leaves a message on the machine.." I know that Superman said that we would all be together at my house for Thanksgiving, but I'm still here and I won't be able to come..so just wanted you to know.." I haven't been home all day, so I don't get this until it's late therefore I do not return the call..so the next day, her message was this," I wanted you to know that I am still here and looks like I won't be able to have Thanksgiving with you..so call me back.."  then she called back and left this ( in her pitiful voice..) " I won't be there tomorrow, hope you all eat good..I'm going to bed, maybe I will see you sometime..don't know when, cause I'm stuck here.."

 So we get up Thanksgiving morning and cook 2 casseroles and carve the turkey for easier travel..and head to Granny's..when we get there, the table is set and food is in the oven and Uncle has gone to get her for the day..when he walks in he warns us with this comment," I think the evil twin woke up this morning..." UGH! Great!! When Granny walks in, she is pleasantly surprised and says to all," This has just made my day!" I think yay! Then she finished her thought with, "Even though I didn't cook it, maybe it will be okay.." Hmmm...now, as we are in the tiny kitchen cooking the little things that we couldn't cook before, she lets the dogs in and they are ALL in the way!! so we put them out..and in a minute they are back inside, tails banging on everything and noses on the tables..so we usher them outside again..this continues through out the meal..

The meal was very good, there was plenty and Granny complemented us on everything..afterwards she even took a nap..
  
 My cousin and her husband have brought their little dog who has barked at everyone and now is hiding under a bed somewhere..When they pull this dog out from under the bed, Granny thinks she has to pet him and make friends..I can't begin to tell you how many time she almost got bitten by this dog..
she kept trying to pet him and he would be growling and she just kept on trying..and then she said,"Max has forgotten me, I guess.." and no one knew who she was talking about..Once we figured out she was talking about the dog, even though that's not the dog's name, all was well.. we kept explaining to her he was afraid and didn't know her at all...she wasn't getting it..so those of us who were not cleaning the dishes and kitchen got to watch Granny and make sure she didn't get bitten or tripped..which was harder than they thought it would be..I think it became a battle of the wills because she was determined to make friend with the dog and have her dogs in the house..but the little dog would bark at her big dogs and this is when we would put the big dogs outside and Granny would let them back inside, so the in one door and out another door cycle continued...

  All in all, I think Thanksgiving went as well as could be expected..There were no fits or punches thrown when it was time to leave..I think she was tired...we were ALL tired...

Now, on to Christmas...Happy Holiday to ALL!!!