I Could have been a Bull Rider....2 Grannys in 1!

So, Friday night my Granny called.  She asked if we had gotten the tractor yet (no..) and if we were coming anytime soon because she needed to buy dog food.. Now, I know that sounds random.. but her dogs are still out at her house and she uses them as an excuse..

  I told her as a matter of fact we were coming tomorrow (Saturday)..she said okay, good- (and then in a completely pitiful voice) asked if we would take her out to her house..  Wait! Let me back up...

She called the week before and wanted to talk to Superman.. She then asked him if he had turned off her hot water heater at her house.. because she had been washing dishes and had no hot water, so she went and checked on the water heater and it was off.. Well, two red flags started waving when he told me this... because #1- see previous blog and  #2- why was she washing dishes??? My first thought was that this had happened a long time ago and she was confused..then the panic set in and I thought she had escaped yet again..

 So I called Uncle to get the scoop.
 He said this was true, They had taken her out to the house a couple weeks ago and she had washed some dishes and had no hot water..it had been turned off (we still don't know why or who..)
  Now, back to the Friday phone call.. When we told her we were coming, she went from sounding normal to sounding all pitiful-like in a heartbeat..I am beginning to understand this Dementia...
 
    When we get to the 'Home', she was napping.. So when we knocked on her door she tried to sound all chipper, but we could tell she had been napping..She always wants to go to the sitting area to talk, so we all headed that way.  When we sat down she is acting  normal.. no shaky voice or whiny tone at all.. She asked if Crash was still playing baseball and we told her he had begun football.  She got all excited and told a story about when my daddy was his age and played football until he got tackled and came home sore after school, she said he didn't play anymore after that! (Ha! She laughed really hard at that story!) and then I asked her about her Dr visit that was on Monday, how it went, what did he say, etc.  She went from Normal Granny to Pitiful Granny in a split second.. she said he didn't tell her anything good, and that he had taken Uncle into his office to 'talk'..and that made her mad cause there wasn't anything wrong with her!! Uncle was just trying to get into her business and control her life and he was telling the Dr lies about her to keep her in the 'Home'..
 Then she changed the subject and asked us if we had been out to her house yet. (back to Normal Granny).  We say not yet, and Pitiful Granny jumped back in and asked us if we would mind taking her there when we went..(I wish you could hear how fast her voice changes.. )
 We say of course we will take you and BAM! back to Normal Granny! she jumps up and says, "I need to get my purse!" and off she goes, back to her room..
  I have to sign her out to leave and we (me and her) head to the nurse's desk..I tell the 2 nurses that I am taking her out and they get this panicked look and  start asking my name.. which is understandable..When they see that I am able to take her (my name is on the list), they say many times, "She HAS to come back!" I assure them that she WILL be back and they let us go..but before we leave, Pitiful Granny proceeds to tell them how her pastor and pastor's hubby had taken her to church and instead of taking her back to the 'Home', they took her to her house and then she thought her granddaughter (me) was coming to pick her up (WHAT?!) and when she (me) didn't show up, she tried to call but didn't have a phone, so she just had to stay out there over night- then the next day her neighbor showed up and she just HATED to ask her to bring her back to the 'Home' but her neighbor insisted, so that's how she got back!
OMG!!!
 I had to turn my face away!! If I didn't know any better, I would have been really mad!!! What a LIE!!!! and I was standing right beside her!! I had to laugh, what else was I supposed to do??
  But, I know it's all the Dementia talking so I just turn away..and laugh.

So, we get into the truck and head to her house and all of a sudden Pitiful Granny is back and wants us to take her to Wal Mart for dog food.. Superman thinks quick and tells her that he will take us to her house and will look to see if she is really out of food and if so, will come back to town and get some. Normal Granny agrees..then Pitiful Granny is back and tells us how hateful Uncle has been to her and how he hangs up on her.. (all lies..) when we don't comment, Normal Granny is back and wonders out loud if someone from the 'Home' would take her to her house and let her get her car and drive it back to the 'Home' and keep it there, in case she needs it.. (UMMM NO!!)
  Superman checks the dog food situation when we get to her house and there are 3 unopened bags in the wash room and 1 unopened bag in the kitchen.. she is good on dog food for a while..
  As she pilfers through her things, we turn the A/C on and make sure everything has been secure (it has).. then Pitiful Granny comes back and raggs on Uncle again, changes the 'hang up stories' around and tells them again..we don't comment and Normal Granny comes back and asked us if we need a cool drink.. we decline, respectively..and then she decided she is ready to go back to the 'Home', so we load her back in the truck and head back.  She talks all the way there (Normal Granny), about how nice and helpful they are at the 'Home', and how they always do her laundry just the way she likes it.. nothing but praise!!
  When we get to the 'Home', she jumps out and says thanks for taking me and we get out, too because I have to sign her back in.. and I am Sooo signing her back in!! We walk her back to her room and as soon as we get in her room Pitiful Granny says, 'They steal her things" and she can't keep anything in her bathroom cause they take it...and we smile and tell her we've got to go back home because Crash has his first school dance tonight and Normal Granny pops back and smiles her pretty smile and tells him to have a good time and for us to get going!
  So we do, and hugs all around and see you soons, too!

 We know she will lay back down and nap until dinner..

 I was almost dizzy from the twisting and turning, but hung on and made it through..

 I Could have been a Bull Rider!

 
 
 

I'm Choosing to Laugh...

So Uncle calls me last night to report the latest...

    Apparently, Granny decided to go home. 
The nursing home called Uncle and asked him if he truly has Guardianship over my Granny..He says he does, and they tell him that my Granny has packed up all of her things and called a cab to take her home.  She has her bags and is waiting by the front door for the cab.. 

    That morning when she got up, she decided it was time for her to go home.. (she doesn't get to decide this..)  When the nurses tried to explain this to her, she 'got ugly with them' and 'gave them a talking to', (guessing this is what the nurses told Uncle).  She even got belligerent and tried to KICK someone!!

OMG!!

     The Social Worker Man asked Uncle how he felt about sedation... Uncle said, 'Under the circumstances,  He agrees..and they hang up..

     Then, not sure how long it was, the nursing home calls Uncle again.  This time they tell him that Granny wants to speak to him.. she has a phone in her room, so not sure why she wanted to call on their phone- unless she was giving them a hard time, again..So, then she tells Uncle that 'She's not mad or anything, they just won't let her go home..'  and 'They don't understand that she has talked to her dr and he told her she can go home'.. She has told the nurses the same thing..Now, we know that's not true..she can't leave without someone signing her out and she can't sign herself out..So the nurses tell her they will call her dr and talk to him and that pacifies her and she heads back to her room.. They tell Uncle the same thing..and so he puts a call into the dr, just to be sure..aaaand the dr doesn't return anybody's calls because he has decided to take the afternoon off and has left his office..

     Then, yesterday afternoon Uncle gets another phone call from Granny.. This time she wants to know how to unplug her phone because she is packing and needs to take her phone, too.. By now, the nurses know that she can't leave, and he knows they know this, so he goes on and tells her how to unplug the phone..because he knows that she isn't really listening to him and won't be able to figure it out.. I realize that sounds mean, but if it will pacify her, then why not??

and really, I'm thinking that 'creating your own reality' may not be such a bad thing... I feel  you have to do what you have to do to survive.. and if this is what she has to do to survive in this place? I'm not sure I can blame her...



     Dementia pretty much sucks in my book...I know this will only get worse, and will not ever get any better, so I can cry and be sad for her, or I can laugh and be impressed with her cunning ability to keep everyone on their toes..
   
    Actually, She makes me a little bit proud knowing that she's going down fighting..I still want to be just like her..
 
This is why today, I'm choosing to laugh...


and I have been flossing...
  

This is how it happens...

This is how it happens..
     You only hear of this stuff happening to other people.. you wonder how this kind of thing happens - 'What were they thinking??' and never think it will happen to you.

     Ok, I get home and notice the light blinking on our answering machine, right?  But before I can listen, the phone rings and it is my Granny calling..She wanted to know why we still had not come to get the tractor..and who was using her house when she wasnt there..

  Here is some backstory on Granny.. The end of April she started feeling bad and drove her self to see her dr who, upon examination, admits her to the hospital for pneumonia..while she is there, they find not only does she have pneumonia, but sometime recently, she has had a heart attack and also has a bloodclot in her leg.  They alsofeel it is necessary for my Uncle to file for Guardianship as he is already the Executor of her Estate..So he does and she stays in the hopsital for a few days then gets moved to a nursing care facility..
She recovers from her sickness and wants to go home but, she has admitted many times of forgetting to take her meds and to falling down..Long story short - She is now staying in the nursing facility and not happy about it.. Her dr has recomended that she stay there since she can't/won't take her meds. (If she had taken the meds, she would not have the blood clot)..She has also begun telling me things about my Uncle- what he did or didn't do for her, and this is all his fault she can't go home..and some of these things I find out later, just aren't true..They (her dr.s) are saying she has dementia and can't be trusted to live by her self..

  Back to the Present-  I said earlier she called me.. as I listened to her- she mentions of her visit to her house yesterday, and that she spent the night.. WHAT?!! Then she said she would talk to me later and hangs up.. WHAT DID SHE SAY??!!!  Spent the night?? I then listen to the 2 messages on my machine and they are both from my Uncle and both times he tells me to call him..so I do and this is what he told me...

  Yesterday morning her Minister and Minister's hubby came to take her to church, they signed her out and went to church.. When church was over, she instructed Minister's hubby to instead of taking her to her nursing home, just take her to her house because her granddaughter (me) was coming to take her back later.. (that was soooo not true!!!)  So, he leaves her there.. without thinking that maybe he should check with someone...and she stays there all day and SPENDS THE NIGHT!!!!!

OMG!!!

Then gets up this morning and MOWS THE YARD!!!!

OMG!!!

 did I mention her age?? She is 91 years old!!

 So, a wonderful neighbor, who has been taking care of her house and dogs, shows up to mow today and notices that the yard looks freshly mowed.. as she makes her way around the side of the house, she hears a commotion in front and walks around to the front porch and finds Granny sitting there with the dogs!!!  Can you say CONFUSED?? Boy was she!! (The neighbor, not Granny)  She asked her what she was doing home and she tells her that she spent the night and my Uncle was coming to take her to the nursing home..(soooo not true, either!) Wonderful Neighbor smells something fishy and calls Uncle, who informs her that he is NOT in town and knows NOTHING about her being at home!!!

WHOA!!!

 So, Wonderful Neighbor gets Granny to go to nursing home with her, on the way there- Granny asked her to take her to Wal-Mart, so she does.. After Wal-Mart, Wonderful Neighbor starts to the nursing home and Granny suggested they go back to her house for lunch- Wonderful Neighbor then tells Granny no, she thinks they need to get back to the nursing home and there, she can eat lunch...Luckily, Granny agrees to this and to the nursing home they go!!
  Meanwhile, Uncle is so shaken up, he calls the nursing home to see what is going on, and they didn't even REALIZE she was GONE!!!! OMG!!! She was gone all day yesterday and all night and half of today!!!

OMG!!!

   This is how it happens!!! The elderly just walk out or away and are never seen or heard from again!!! I am so very thankful that she was fine and that Wonderful Neighbor decided to mow!!!  

  The nursing home hasn't or won't fess up to the error on their part.. Uncle said they are being very nonchalant about the whole thing!!! This is soooo not acceptable!!!! EVER!!!!!

I can't decide what is more disturbing.. the fact that she wasn't missed, or the fact that she spent the night at her house all alone and without her meds, or that she mowed her yard!!!!  

This is probably why I'm unhinged....

By the way--there hasn't been anyone using her house-the last time we visited, we brought bottled water and put it in her fridge...and we are waiting on a trailer for the tractor...