I Could have been a Bull Rider....2 Grannys in 1!

So, Friday night my Granny called.  She asked if we had gotten the tractor yet (no..) and if we were coming anytime soon because she needed to buy dog food.. Now, I know that sounds random.. but her dogs are still out at her house and she uses them as an excuse..

  I told her as a matter of fact we were coming tomorrow (Saturday)..she said okay, good- (and then in a completely pitiful voice) asked if we would take her out to her house..  Wait! Let me back up...

She called the week before and wanted to talk to Superman.. She then asked him if he had turned off her hot water heater at her house.. because she had been washing dishes and had no hot water, so she went and checked on the water heater and it was off.. Well, two red flags started waving when he told me this... because #1- see previous blog and  #2- why was she washing dishes??? My first thought was that this had happened a long time ago and she was confused..then the panic set in and I thought she had escaped yet again..

 So I called Uncle to get the scoop.
 He said this was true, They had taken her out to the house a couple weeks ago and she had washed some dishes and had no hot water..it had been turned off (we still don't know why or who..)
  Now, back to the Friday phone call.. When we told her we were coming, she went from sounding normal to sounding all pitiful-like in a heartbeat..I am beginning to understand this Dementia...
 
    When we get to the 'Home', she was napping.. So when we knocked on her door she tried to sound all chipper, but we could tell she had been napping..She always wants to go to the sitting area to talk, so we all headed that way.  When we sat down she is acting  normal.. no shaky voice or whiny tone at all.. She asked if Crash was still playing baseball and we told her he had begun football.  She got all excited and told a story about when my daddy was his age and played football until he got tackled and came home sore after school, she said he didn't play anymore after that! (Ha! She laughed really hard at that story!) and then I asked her about her Dr visit that was on Monday, how it went, what did he say, etc.  She went from Normal Granny to Pitiful Granny in a split second.. she said he didn't tell her anything good, and that he had taken Uncle into his office to 'talk'..and that made her mad cause there wasn't anything wrong with her!! Uncle was just trying to get into her business and control her life and he was telling the Dr lies about her to keep her in the 'Home'..
 Then she changed the subject and asked us if we had been out to her house yet. (back to Normal Granny).  We say not yet, and Pitiful Granny jumped back in and asked us if we would mind taking her there when we went..(I wish you could hear how fast her voice changes.. )
 We say of course we will take you and BAM! back to Normal Granny! she jumps up and says, "I need to get my purse!" and off she goes, back to her room..
  I have to sign her out to leave and we (me and her) head to the nurse's desk..I tell the 2 nurses that I am taking her out and they get this panicked look and  start asking my name.. which is understandable..When they see that I am able to take her (my name is on the list), they say many times, "She HAS to come back!" I assure them that she WILL be back and they let us go..but before we leave, Pitiful Granny proceeds to tell them how her pastor and pastor's hubby had taken her to church and instead of taking her back to the 'Home', they took her to her house and then she thought her granddaughter (me) was coming to pick her up (WHAT?!) and when she (me) didn't show up, she tried to call but didn't have a phone, so she just had to stay out there over night- then the next day her neighbor showed up and she just HATED to ask her to bring her back to the 'Home' but her neighbor insisted, so that's how she got back!
OMG!!!
 I had to turn my face away!! If I didn't know any better, I would have been really mad!!! What a LIE!!!! and I was standing right beside her!! I had to laugh, what else was I supposed to do??
  But, I know it's all the Dementia talking so I just turn away..and laugh.

So, we get into the truck and head to her house and all of a sudden Pitiful Granny is back and wants us to take her to Wal Mart for dog food.. Superman thinks quick and tells her that he will take us to her house and will look to see if she is really out of food and if so, will come back to town and get some. Normal Granny agrees..then Pitiful Granny is back and tells us how hateful Uncle has been to her and how he hangs up on her.. (all lies..) when we don't comment, Normal Granny is back and wonders out loud if someone from the 'Home' would take her to her house and let her get her car and drive it back to the 'Home' and keep it there, in case she needs it.. (UMMM NO!!)
  Superman checks the dog food situation when we get to her house and there are 3 unopened bags in the wash room and 1 unopened bag in the kitchen.. she is good on dog food for a while..
  As she pilfers through her things, we turn the A/C on and make sure everything has been secure (it has).. then Pitiful Granny comes back and raggs on Uncle again, changes the 'hang up stories' around and tells them again..we don't comment and Normal Granny comes back and asked us if we need a cool drink.. we decline, respectively..and then she decided she is ready to go back to the 'Home', so we load her back in the truck and head back.  She talks all the way there (Normal Granny), about how nice and helpful they are at the 'Home', and how they always do her laundry just the way she likes it.. nothing but praise!!
  When we get to the 'Home', she jumps out and says thanks for taking me and we get out, too because I have to sign her back in.. and I am Sooo signing her back in!! We walk her back to her room and as soon as we get in her room Pitiful Granny says, 'They steal her things" and she can't keep anything in her bathroom cause they take it...and we smile and tell her we've got to go back home because Crash has his first school dance tonight and Normal Granny pops back and smiles her pretty smile and tells him to have a good time and for us to get going!
  So we do, and hugs all around and see you soons, too!

 We know she will lay back down and nap until dinner..

 I was almost dizzy from the twisting and turning, but hung on and made it through..

 I Could have been a Bull Rider!